Stanfordgirl

I think I did very well without him last week. I met friends every day! I met Kate on Wednesday, Jenny on Thursday, concert - unforgettable concert of snowapple on Friday, Saturday I met Emily, and Sunday I by myself bought food and organized a dinner for my friend. I was strong. I think I came to understanding that I am going to survive without him. What made me feel better is that he was giving out some signs- he put out a tree a gift, and a pillow. I saw his new car. I had a feeling that the string is not broken. Today I sent him a message telling - Happy anniversary. I am waiting for his reply. He won't. I talked to my friend Meru - her boyfriend OMG very bad guy - called her and said he wanted her back. She gave me a tutorial on how to let the guy go - I read it and I couldn't do it…

hihi

Only yesterday it was alright. Yesterday, I don't know why, I waited for him in the hall of my building. I wanted to see him beautiful. I wanted to hug him. He didn't want to hug me, and asked me to bring his instruments. I calmed myself with a song: You know everything is going to be alright Southern wind is going to come back And spring will come and memory will pass like pages from the book and some day your lips will wake me up I doubt his lips are going to wake me up. At least I wanted to have his friendship. Now I am going to describe how I feel: I completely do not remember how I felt when he hurt me. I am thinking maybe our life is destined to be in pain, talking only with a counselor, but together. I found good sides. If we see counselor on a regular basis, we will be better as p…

Oh, yeah I am in my office. I feel I am doing a lot of work done. I am happy with my productivity and the way I can influence the company with decisions. Tomorrow I am taking time off to work on my issues. Specifically, I would like to spend some time on good workout - running, boxing. Then I would like to spend some time on good meditation. Develop a sense of gratitude. Developing a sense of gratitude is what I would like to focus on tomorrow for at least 5 hours. Oh, car fixing will have to happen on Thursday. After good work out and meditation, I will focus on cooking and cleaning home, and in the evening taking my dad somewhere Let me figure out if I can invite Aza and my dad to the Boeing museum. It will be fun So tomorrow I am going to boxing, taking time to reflect and rejuvenate a…

I am in Starbucks working with Max on our new game. I am glad I have more and more ideas on how to implement things. Most important thing for me is not to tell anyone and reveal myself on what we are working on.

I have an idea on how to launch a 3D video with my slot. I will need to sit down and launch the video.First, I need to make it. Who is going to make a video for me?

Second I need to check that the app load time and app performance are sharp, load super fast, and can play off line.

Jordana Cohen, ask Kellogg people.

Overall questions, where do I find marketing person, where do I find 3D animator?

3D animators in Chicago - Shashwat

In Seattle - Amanda, Emily, Ira

Yesterday I went to Startup Grind event - to hear about donuts inc.

I realized again that I need to widen my horizons. AI is going to be big, I know it. This applications will make a lot of money. And I am good at it. Maybe I should take galvanize classes

To do things outside of work:

- how to entertain my dad

- how to continue and strengthen at capoeira

- how to move fast with my startup

- how to make a profile to start meeting people

1. Figure out tomorrow with Aza

2. will do tomorrow?

3. have regular meetings with Max

4. figure out the app with Ira

How to enjoy life to it's full potential? !!!!!

9pm I am at work. I am feeling okay. I am a little un-restful because my back hurts. It hurts because of the pressure to take care of my dad. This weekend I am going to do capoeira, and I WILL feel better. Then I won't be hurting. I don't want to go home, because it is work. It is some work I don't want to do - I just want to relax. From my dad's side - I need to mount the tv to the wall, buy new stuff, clean and take care of his nails, take him to doctor, and then show him states. It is hard to live with him. Unfortunately, I cannot emotionally take care of him. Bryan is full of needles person, I don't want to be with him. Now this winter is slightly difficult time in my life. I saw myself with Bryan, thinking if we could work together to help people, it will be nice. We will become clos…

I am very much losing ground. Sometime frustrating, I am lost. I want to read books. and I want to take care of my dad. My dad is never ending problem solving, that doesn't have a bottom. Sometime frustrating, bet never really fulfilling. I don't see fulfillment nor outcome out of it. It's like trying to win superball with a bad playing player in the team. I am frustrated because I don't have a venue where I can vent. I don't feel needed nor loved, nor understood anywhere. And I am just physically tired. I feel like I am a single mother. I am fed up with driving Aza. Also, not showing any progress, just a loser. But most of all, I feel despised by him.His little goals despise me too. Just a bobo My dad didn't develop another pattern with another human being, working with one pattern - lis…

wolf is good - howling wolf is better

Mexico - lower CAC

I am living with my dad. I feel stressed when I am with him. I feel not a flow but dissonance. I feel that I am giving, and not receiving. I need to find a way for him to give me - how can I make it happen?