Stanfordgirl

I am at work and am working next to Keith and Riley. They are both very hard working. Many things in my mind. I am in good relationships with my exes - God bless their souls. I would like to get married in October. What God has prepared for me?I am getting my freedom. I received my freedom. I woke up and I have a clear idea where my next 2 years will be. I woke up and I can start new things. I woke up and worry is gone - and strain is gone. I woke up and I know how amazing next 2 years are going to be. I am going to celebrate it by starting Kazakh-fund - I will set it up and it will help lives of people, children and women of Kazakhstan. It will change lives. Kazakh students fund. I will maybe change my apartment. I will go and spend a day in Mosque - being grateful to my God. I will go a…

I had a couple sad nights. I would wake up in the middle night thinking where am I going. I would wake up with worry. I am lonely - the thought passed my mind. What is happening to my career; how come I am not dating and not in love, why so many ropes are loose, superficiality, mistakes - these thoughts passed my mind recently. I am saying things - can I achieve them; I have money - am I spending them according my values, am I taking gifts from God and appreciating them and putting them to use. Where is my God ?During the day - today - I feel good. I am in cafe with B - he is working next to me - sometimes that is all I need - someone working next to me. Someone who will smile to me - when I look at him. Anyway- I feel very happy here in the cafe- relaxed and present.I am going to sort ou…

I am at work and I need to balance - meaning, I had a dinner with Thomas Z yesterday - I had mixed feelings - one I am grateful and honored to be listened and to be taken seriously. I am glad I am on a level of high executives and director level. On the other hand - I know he is not my person and I am taking his advice with a grain of salt. I am also always puzzled when I hear about sexual relationship stories - it is interesting and exciting world - I can be engaged and be part of unconventional relationships myself - yet, I want to have a the sweetness and simplicity of a relationship of soul partners with many children and looking together into one direction - one castle - one ship

The truth is God knows what my true self needs. - if there is one true self.

So I felt puzzled.

I am confused and stressed because I have a lot of things to do. I am worried about what IK told me about my management - now I am more thinking about firing non-performing team members and it gives me not nice feel - as if I need to cooperate with HR now. Not nice feeling. Fixing my team - this is what I worried about. The fact I need to engage with hr - a skill that won't help me in any way - worries me.

I will figure it out with Thomas on Tuesday.

Today I need to:

- write a performance review for Riley

- write goals for Nick

- send out LI survey to leaders

- figure out what I am going to do for labor day weekend

- Todd's assignment

- get a mindset of a lady awesome about boys

Wow. the weekend was fun.

It's saturday. It was my birthday week. I am feeling so neutral about it. I like that I feel neutral about it. Yesterday I slept in the park, and swam twice this morning. It's a good summer. Am I feeeling I am drinking this life? I felt it last Sunday, when I slept and felt awesome. I slept warm and super deep. This week was eventful - I saw apartments and am excited about looking for apartments - I am glad I can tie my life to Shashwat and Max - and build amazing place for people. This weekend - today and tomorrow - I would like to do some cool stuff. I am going to cement my lean in project deeply and good. So this weekend:1. cement my Lean in project2. reach back to Yara about her research2.1 send summary of my job description3. develop roadmap for 4k till the end of this year4. develop…

Tak mnogo chego chto mne hochetsa jit.

Shodila na mout Rainier s pacanami - Maxom, Nursom, Shashom.

I have decided at my coaching session that I will shift my attention from work to other priorities. I will beautifully finish my LI project. I see how awesome it will look like.

I will check out the house, I am ready to make an offer.

I submitted and presented my LI project. Everyone is excited and impressed by the work.

I have found a house - amazing investment opportunity, and I am purchasing it with my friends.

I am swimming everyday and hiking and enjoying and dancing and drinking and am super relaxed and loved. I am dating nicely this month. It's month of my birthday.

I started doing necessary stuff today:- let Shashwat know about the upcoming Rainier trip-prepared things to buy in amazon for the Rainier trip- send email asks for airbnb guests-asked Yuri to help me with pumps- found properties for rental income- agreed on meeting Carlyn to work on LITomorrow:1. ask Nurs to rent stuff for myself and Shashwat. Send him a list2. ask the real estate agent for next Monday apointmentI am a little overwhelmed, because the next LI event is this Saturday - one I won't be there. Second I'd like to prepare the survey before the event. The Lean In project gives me a little stress. How do I approach it? How do I solve it?Can I prepare the survey for this Saturday?It looks like I am stuck with survey because I need a thought partner. I hope to get one with Carlyn, K…

I am in Victrola. I am writing to say - I am happy and am excited about my life. I successfully got over the relationship I had and a crisis that it caused me. Next weekend I am going to Rainier - very very exciting prospect. I feel like I will be part of the Fighting club. I am excited that I have so many oppoirtunities I am excited about. Such as - learning deep mind with Nurs, and Yuri, and Piyush and enjoying it; painting and scetching with Liv, buying this book from Ada's bookstore and sketching beautiful animations from there - joy. I am excited about the prospect of buying a house - and running it with my friends. I am excited about paining and envisioning and creating new lobby with my friend Yara. I am also looking forward to making money. I am looking forward to enjoying it all.…