September 10th

I wanted to write no?

I don;t want to write about sheet. I just want to relax. I actually want to get some coffee and start kicking off my weekend. It will be amazing. I will make it very amazing and productive, and fun, realizing , soul warming, nice. I am happiness, I am soul, I am sunshine, I am love.

I spent my day reading Ferrante. It made me want to write a book again. I feel I will publish one day. I know I will publish one day, if only it is something substantial.

I have a longing to have power on men. I want to have power and control over men. Strong grip, undeniable control. I am like volturi, I pick up men when theya are succeptible,  when they haven;t been around women for long, when they need one, when they can be manipulated. When they want you so bad, they are ready to change, chnage their thoughts, learn. When they can feel emotionally volnurible, and ready for heroic. Am I advanatge taker?

I can smell their deisre, and smell that they would go out of their ways to be around me, to be in my zone. I feel control. I feel freedom. I feel empowered.

My mind goes into three men these days - D, Z, B. I see interest and desire, I feel I can control. Do I know what truly love in love means? I do fee ectasy, and self strength, when a men confronts me, and then comes on his knees to listen to me, surrender. I like victory, capitulation, and surrender. In those moments life shows it's face.

Okay, I am good with Airbnb, I fixed it! Joy of my life!

Now some important things that I have been postponing. I need to have a good look at them. Okay I will deal with my coding experience, then do an hour of tableau. then I will go on to importnant things. You will see. They are exciting!