November 13th Monday at work thoughts

I will pure out the thoughts.

I went for an amazing hike with Max. We talked about his sect and cult experience. What I was happy to hear is that Vipassana is where he found the most joy and meaning. It means I can do it too.

I am working on a bundle of projects at the same time. My work - impressing Koreans, positioning myself and bringing value. My Leanin project - interviews are awesome, now I am going to interview accomplished ladies. My airbnb is on hold. My Max project - I am so happy he is working, and he is accomplishing. I am content to have him. He also cares about people.

So far I have scheduled trips with Nelly. I also want to visit Laura, Sarah in Chicago, Vipassana retreat, and most of all really want to go to Kazakhstan. I want to go to Indonesia, to Italy with my mom. I want to do eye surgery, and tooth fixing. I need to plan it all.

I have to choose between things. Maybe I can take 10 day vipassana in the winter. Then take spring marriage trip.

All this uncertainty with B makes me hard to plan.

I need to do Vipassana trip and then plan for tours celebrating Leanin movement with my research findings.

I am ready again to start a conversation about our future with him.

Let me tell you a little about him.

I am in love, and I am suffering too with him. I spent two weekends with him. I was bored. Going around the city and exploring is fun at the beginning not now. I am a builder and achiever, I would like to get super awesome achievements.

I understand that he is tired, and he wants to have quite time and good conversations with someone who loves him and accepts him. He likes to take care of people too. I was angry at him because he didn't hold his hand on my stomach, and said I can't because you have a lot of clothes. Why defense right away.

My dream was to