May 18th 2016

here we go. I want to write a little bit about Bryan. Well, he really impressed me with Obama speech. He understands politics, he gets it, and he can be helpful in my political career.

He comes short in business and structured thinking knowledge. He is what I used to be before b school, and it is discouraging, because the career is super important. He is going to be good if he agrees to learn with me, and not push back.

Yesterday I was fully confident that he is good suitor for my future, due to this vivid future images - he let's me go with controversial experiments as adopting, physical experimentation, and unconventional self expression. He will be understanding and supporting. He is also going to be reliable, and will cherish our relationship.

I have  dream of having political career in kz with many multi national kids, and pushing the boundaries of social norms in the cause of helping. It will be amazing.

After yesterday, I am more skeptical, because he doesn't understand strategic decision making, and problem solving. He also scares me because of the dark side of personal liberalism. When I would like to live conventional and simple life.

Do I? That is a good question. On one hand, I would like to have a conventional husband, and we focus on making things happen in the world, we derive our energy from making this project fruit, and by being winners and partners in it, having simple and loving life, with one adopted and many children. He is proud of me, and sees new poassion in his life because of me and my goals. He is grateful.

On the other hand, another type of husband, who is very open liberal, can satisfy my hunger for extroordinarity, and shock people. We will derive our energy from being different, and showing the world how it could be. More specific- that your international husband really involved in social life, and tirelessly helps communities, we also have many kids, and we show compassion and love ( we also have this crazy side, where we experiment). Bryan is he grateful? is he ever going to be grateful given my goal, show, winner nature? Does he appreciate over achiever culture.

taza bolsan jerdei bol versus shooting star that doesn't stop.

New dilemma. Time will show