February 1st

My dad is here for three days. I am very happy that he is doing okay.

I looked from the window and found a really nice view. American flag is flowing. I am living for someone else - I am living for my dad, to support him, and for my work, for my company. It is a good feeling. I would like someone to live and think of me.

I can spend some good time with Z. He will always love me and will be a good father. I understand people cheating. You do a lot things home - and you want something for yourself.You live for your duty, but you want something for fun. Something just for yourself. Something just for my wife - to sweep her away.

B taught me honesty - un-apologizing honesty. I realized that I spent six years with dear Z. It was a really good time - but it was a lot. I am for sure having trouble letting things go. Now I have two guys I think about - who undoubtedly love me and want to be with me. I am deciding to settle down with whom.

I still think I can find the one. Now my longing for B is stronger than I think I won't find the level of depth in anyone else. But I will.

My dad has a very deep connecting personality. It is interesting, just like with my mom, my dad and I will be rediscovering each other again. I will take my dad's mind by focusing on my career and my love life. I will ask his advice.

I love my dad.

Now back to work