IELTS, Сочинение-рассуждение личного приготовления

internet-surfer 2012 M05 26
11145
5
6
0

Выношу на ваш суд свои сочинения, которые я написала недавно в рамках домашнего задания по Writing part.

Добрый день!

Выношу на ваш суд 2 своих сочинения, которые я написала недавно в рамках домашнего задания по Writing part.

Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people think that parents should teach children to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that parents should be responsible for brining up good members in a society through education of their children in the families. As well as schools should help to prepare children to play positive role in the society. What role do families and school play in the establishment and development of a young person?

Let’s consider at first the family which is usually called as a main cell of any society. Children from the very first see their parents; learn to speak from them; and learn to be true humans. In other words, children learn first of all from their parents to be good members of society. For example, when they see happy parents to be caring of each other and being attentive to others, the abilities to be compassionate and responsive are obtained. Parents have huge influence on children because they are considered as highly authoritative people. Kids want to resemble them and as a result imitate parents and their goals in life, like many generations of doctors in my friend’s family where everything started from their great-grandfather. However, it is not only parents who take part in children’s education, schools play very important role in making future useful society members.

Children go to school in their early age now learning as much as possible about theoretical knowledge of life. However, it helps them to develop also their individualistic and team working skills. In a class of at least 15 schoolchildren one should develop his leadership skills if he wants to succeed in particular fields. Also tasks given at school often involve work in groups of two or more people, so children have to compromise and get their common target. It was at my chemistry classes when we performed many interesting tasks with chemical reactives and experienced aforesaid. That is why school is dedicated to to complement and further develop person after family.

In conclusion, I would like to state that both family and school are important in preparing good members of pour society. If any part is missed, child becomes not complete; affecting one’s the future when it will be very hard for him/her to find the place in one’s relations and skills. We need many good citizens and therefore, good families and good schools with excellent teachers are needed.

Ну и замечания моего препода:

Great essay!

Good sentence structures!

Used appropriate linking words!

Only grammar is afly!

However, you deserve 7.0 anyway!

В общем вышло около 350 слов, может просто от того что тема попалась хорошая.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

You should write at least 250 words.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

At last Kazakhstan has decided to pay attention to the development of tourism in the country and now the Governmnet is working on allocating funds among prospective projects. So, why is it so important to develop tourism?

In recent decades we witnessed the increase of people’s interest for travelling. This process is common for all part of the world as people want to increase their awareness of what life is like in other parts, learn more about history, nature, etc. So, for hosting countries it is a huge part of national domestic income. At that, we may consider Macao, Aruba, Greece and Maldives where tourism constitutes major part of gross domestic product and implies involvement of large number of population in the industry.

However, this process brings mutual benefits because it helps to create new form of cooperation on governmental level. It includes an establishment of favorable visa conditions, as for example, between Kazakhstan and Turkey, Malaysia, Kyrgyzstan, and Russia. As a result it inspires not only ordinary citizens to travel but also businessmen to extend their businesses in those countries and establish good economic cooperation in general.

Overall, I believe that travelling to other countries enriches people spiritually too. My friend who recently was in Turkey and despite that trip was short had so much positive impressions and was inspired to change her life. As a result, I think that travelling even just for travelling is a positive tendency with lots of benefits.

7.0

Good essay!

But I’d rather start introduction discussing general issues then putting forward on example in Kazakhstan.

model answer:

The growth of tourism and the numbers of people travelling to other countries for their vacations has led to debate as to whether this is beneficial. I believe that there are many problems which arise out of the tourist industry, and will examine these in detail.

Many people argue that travel broadens the mind. However, this statement does not fully hold water. I would argue that spending a few weeks in another country is not long enough to gain a proper understanding of an alien culture. A foreigner visiting Britain might be met with the traditional British reserve, and mistakenly conclude that the British are unfriendly. Furthermore, some people are unwilling to open their minds. A Western traveller to an Arab country is unlikely to consider that the veiling of women is acceptable.

Being a tourist in a foreign country brings with it problems that can lead to dislike of the native people. Firstly, a foreigner is vulnerable, and is often ripped off by locals. Secondly, the language barrier can lead to misunderstandings. Thirdly, tourists are often hassled to buy goods, which can ruin a holiday. When I went to Bali, people tried to sell me something every five minutes, and this totally spoilt my sunbathing.

Local people also often end up disliking foreigners. Visitors may mistakenly act contrary to local norms, or they may just be plain offensive, as many drunken British holidaymakers must seem to the Spanish. Global tourism can lead to hostility from the native people, who may feel their traditional way of life is under threat. Additionally, the relative wealth of the foreign visitors can cause envy and resentment.

In conclusion, I would say that I largely agree with the argument that global tourism creates misunderstanding between people from different cultures, and that the differences are often a cause for conflict rather than celebration.

(308 words)

 

Оцените пост

5

Комментарии

0
Интересно, какие отклики они могут вызвать))
0
позитивный у вас преподаватель.native speaker?
0
Действительно замечательные эссе! Для меня это самая сложная часть в экзамене.
0
Нет, наш национальный :-) но зато в Англии заканчивал, вот сейчас ходит таких как я просвещает))
0
Спасибо! Оказывается, если хочешь поступать на журналистику, то эссе будут самой важной частью оценки и должны составлять не меньше 7,5 баллов.
Показать комментарии