THE PAIN

… And I’m so tired to feel the pain!...

I can’t repeat it all the time!

But it became destroying my brain –

And I can’t stop it? Just to claim.

I’m tired showing happiness,

When soul and heart split up on pieces;

My soul cries, I can’t make it less –

Just dream about somebody misses.

Pain in my soul, and heart, and life…

I want to live, tired of just being;

Want to become somebody’s wife,

And loose my head in happy feeling.

Talking to people, making smile,

But they don’t see tear on my cheek –

Stupid pretending is shown while

Soul screams, at once I become weak;

I’m strong for them, not for myself,

Become not sure and loosing force;

Fighting with fears, heart kills itself –

In real life nightmare is worse.

Heart is filling in my blood,

Lonelyness is killing soul,

Consciousness is praying God

For happy life, forgiving all.

All of my life full of mistakes –

I find someone and soon I loose,

In cruel world my force it takes,

Leading to limit I stay thus.

Without friends and love can’t live –

In this way I prefer to die.

If only feel love when all give!

But they just only make me cry.

My aim is happiness and love –

Praying about it God with whisper…

I’m cat, who goes alone for life,

But also need in real people…