Stupid Stubbornness

Sometimes I notice that I keep sabotaging my own life just because I am such a stubborn donkey. I hate being miserable, everybody does. If I'm unable to deal with stuff, I hate myself and everybody around me. So I reject each and every chance of being helped and then regret about it very hard. That is my nature. Right now I am sitting in the lab, writing all this nonsense, my T man is working and he is the only person who could help me with my own robot. And I can't just start working, because I think that my evening was spoiled because of a friend of T man I can't get on with and T man's attitude thrown on my friend K. Sad because for once in a while this was a beautiful day after a very long winter.