March 5th

here we go. Its March!

Quarter is almost over. Life is harsh. Different working styles - very hard to deal with them. i question myself. Should have more confidence.

As for personal life. I am getting jackpot. I am again afraid that I wont get jackpot. The thing is if you try enough, you are going to get it. Probability. Try more, try harder.

I am settling down on indian. Even though he hurts me sometimes. I cant be with dearest anymore.

I guess what is going hard on me is - not everyone is there for me. People might not see my brilliance, not see my strengths. I also might not get the best job, or best position. Some opportunities might be taken. Timing is important. Respect towards others is important.

I believed, if I want something I was going to get it. It is not happening here. I have been turned down so many times. And I gave up. Its not like I give up, its like its irreversible, you cant get it back.

So my life in B-school. i am complaining. Its my habit now, complain. Should be stronger. Everyone felt this way.

School of consultants, school where they dont know how to build to last. Again I am critisyzing, even though its not a fact that I would do better.

2) Just had a coffee with Iryna, very nice person. After frapuccino life looks better. We have a lot in common. We can go deeper in the conversation. It is not socializing, its talking about shared values, about what we really care about. This is important.

I am also used to guys liking me no matter what. It's not the case here. You have to be on a top of the game to be liked. I like it, reasons to improve yourself.

I want to be really good at something. By the end of the B school, I will have skills to do my job. The experience is really valuable. As for my professional and personal development. I need to work Myself on myself. Work harder, be more structured.

I need to learn how to make things done without a kick in my ass. Sometimes, even with a kick I dont do things.