I had no idea that he wont be there when I'll be back. I would never have thought that he would be gone just like that. Why our life is so unpredictable…? Why do we always have to question ourselves…? Why can’t we just live without any regrets…? Why it’s so difficult to choose the right path in life to prevent mistakes that may affect our future.
It’s been five and a half years since I saw him. During these years, so many times, I tried to imagine what my return would be like. I had crazy thoughts, such as, what if some of my relatives would not be there when I'll come back, or what if something will happen to me before I will be able to return. Every day for the past five years I’ve been thinking about these crazy situations. Finally, I got my green card. I have my tickets. I am going home to celebrate New Year with my family…
Today is 11.11.11... My uncle died… He was 54… He was waiting for me five years… Every year I promised him that I will come visit him next summer… He probably stopped believing me… And now, when I have my tickets, I am going home on December 26, 2011, he is gone. I am shocked. I can’t believe it. I can’t stop crying. Why? Why did it happen today? Why couldn’t he wait for me? Why didn’t I come back earlier, when I just received the green card? I could have met him before he dies. I wouldn’t have this pain that he was waiting for me and now it is too late. I am speechless.
Now I understand that every day, even minute, counts. We should not wait to meet loved ones. It is life that gave me a lesson to do all the things at the right time and never wait until the last moment. School can wait, work can be changed, but loved ones can't be returned. Yes, I will regret for the rest of my life that I did not think that way before, that I could say goodbye to my uncle before he dies. Unfortunately, we can’t change our past, but we can learn from our mistakes and prevent them in the future.